Not going back to that
Two years ago, Brie was admitted to the hospital for 3 months because she had a stress-induced nervous breakdown. Since then, Brie has been careful to care for her mental health and take the necessary steps to maintain her peace. However, the increased stressors have caused her to feel additional stress that she may be having the same experiences she had just before she was admitted to the hospital.
Brie has communicated her boundaries to her daughter Eliza and Eliza’s father but as usual, he argues, dismisses her concerns, and continues to be difficult. Brie feels backed into a corner, is unclear on what else she can do and things are not improving fast enough to ensure Brie can find balance again before things spiral out of control for her again.
It’s summer break again and Eliza usually visits her father for the summer, but Brie decides she will keep her for the first month to better understand what’s been going on in Eliza’s life over the past year. Eliza’s father on the other hand is making it difficult for Brie by constantly harassing her. Brie, as usual, ignores his abusive attacks, but because he is irrational, unpredictable, and violent at times she feels fearful about what he will do when she lets him pick Eliza up at the end of the month.
Brie decides as usual to hope for the best and send Eliza to visit with her dad for the summer. She sends him a text message asking him when he’ll be coming. He comes the day after Eliza graduates from a program meant to empower youth by teaching necessary life skills. When the day comes, Brie feels nervous, but she tries to think positively and sends her daughter off with some encouragement a hug, and kisses goodbye.
Incoming text: “I’m here”
Brie responds to the text message: “On our way!”
A few moments later.
Incoming text: “Eliza is not coming back to live with you.”
Brie thought “WHAT!”
Brie responds to the text message: “What do you mean she’s not coming back? Why not?”
Incoming text: “You’re not good for her mental health.”
Brie sat in shock, repeating “You’re not good for her mental health.” “You’re not good for her mental health.”
Brie rests her forehead in her right palm, shakes her head, and runs her hand down her face.
Brie angrily throws the phone onto the couch and begins weeping.
Mid cry she stops takes a deep breath and utters:
“I’m done.”
Brie has had it with the constant stress of dealing with unpredictable, unreasonable, aggressive, disrespectful, abusive, and narcissistic behavior. For 14 years straight, since she was impregnated until now, she has been in a constant state of increasing stress, all because she is just “trying to do the right thing”. Her health has seriously deteriorated, and her and her daughter’s quality of life has severely suffered throughout these years.
Brie says to herself: “I can’t keep doing this.” “Almost half of my life has been spent being miserable, struggling to find happiness, peace, and balance. I’m in a constant state of survival. I’m tired of being nice to spare feelings and maintain the well-being of others only to ignore my own needs and have my health and well-being go down the drain with no meaningful reward in the end. I’m tired of always losing! I deserve to be happy too! I deserve to do more than survive in this single life I’ve been given. No more time will be given to me to make up for what I’ve lost. I am done!”
“He can f***ing keep her!”
