Conflict in the workplace is an unfortunate reality that many of us encounter at some point in our careers.
Imagine, you’ve worked full-time with an organization for over 10 years, during this time, you’ve had multiple supervisors, you’ve interacted with almost all 130 of your co-workers in some way and there was never an issue. Until one day your team is assigned a new team member and everything changes…perhaps not for the better.
Now, it seems that information you share with your new team member makes its way around the office to people they “know” but you’ve never shared any personal stories with. How could this happen?
How about when you say anything, they interrupt you or worse, misinterpret what you say and say you said something you did not say or mean? Because you’re confused and unsure of what this person’s intentions are, you stop sharing with or around them altogether. Sigh! That should fix it.
Not quite.
It just keeps getting worse. Because you both need to meet alone with each other, they begin pressuring you to share openly with them in private meetings, but you refuse because you will not disturb your peace at work for non-sense. They go around the office asking your co-workers about you, then in private meetings, they begin bringing up conversations you’ve had with other co-workers they are “friends with”.
You share an idea for making improvements at the workplace for everyone, (which is requested by your employer) the team member ignores it and lies that they will follow up with you but never does. Guess what, they even intentionally exclude you from meetings, and tell you that they shared the information with the team when you were not in the meeting but they never actually did.
You reach out to another team member to ask for guidance, that team member gets your direct supervisor involved and now your team member begins saying things about you to their superior that are not true and turns them against you.
To get help, you report to HR as you’re instructed and now you’re left scrounging for evidence because well, this is your first time having to deal with an HR Investigation. They want to know dates, times, specific examples, written documentation of incidences, witnesses, etc. Are you kidding?
Sadly, at any moment, everything you once knew to be true can change. No one should ever need to be in an environment where they feel the need to collect evidence “just in case”. That’s an indicator of a toxic environment. However, things do change and at times those changes are out of our control. So be sure to know your rights as an employee, know company policies, and know who to speak to if necessary.
Before diving into possible solutions, remember that this is general information intended to offer ideas and inspiration. It’s always wise to consult with HR professionals or legal counsel for personalized advice.
Tips for managing serious workplace conflict
Workplace conflicts can be challenging, especially when dealing with a difficult team member. If you’re facing a similar situation, here are a few steps you might consider to help manage the conflict effectively:
Document everything
- Keep detailed records – It may help to start documenting interactions with the team member, including dates, times, and details of specific incidents. Note instances of unprofessional behavior, miscommunication, or misconduct.
- Save emails/communications – Preserve any written communication that might provide context for the situation.
Seek support from trusted co-workers
- Build allies – You might want to talk to co-workers you trust, especially those who may have witnessed the behavior or had similar experiences. They can provide emotional support or credibility to your claims.
- Avoid gossip – Be careful not to engage in gossip, as this could worsen the conflict. Instead, focus on productive and professional conversations.
Engage with HR or a neutral party
- File a formal complaint (if needed) – If the situation escalates, consider cooperating with HR to address the issue. It’s important to be thorough when sharing details, including timelines and specific incidents.
- Request guidance – You could also consider requesting guidance from HR on how to gather and organize the necessary documentation. Inquire about next steps and any timeline they may have for resolving the issue.
Maintain professionalism
- Stay calm and collected – While frustrating, remaining calm during interactions with the problematic team member can prevent them from accusing you of being unprofessional.
- Keep communication clear – If you must communicate with the team member, try to keep discussions focused on work and avoid personal conversations that could escalate the conflict.
Explore alternative resolutions
- Request mediation – Consider asking HR to arrange a mediated conversation with the supervisor to address the behavior in a structured, neutral setting.
- Seek transfer – If the situation becomes unbearable and resolution seems unlikely, explore the possibility of transferring to a different department or team within the company.
Look after your well-being
- Stress management – Dealing with a toxic team member can be stressful. Practice self-care, seek support from friends or family, or talk to a counselor if needed.
- Know your rights – Take time to familiarize yourself with company policies regarding workplace behavior, confidentiality, and retaliation. Understanding your rights as an employee can help guide your actions.
Prepare for the long term
- Legal considerations (as a last resort) – If HR doesn’t provide adequate support, it may be helpful to explore local labor laws or consult with a professional to understand your legal options. However, legal action should generally be a last resort.
- Evaluate employment options – If the workplace environment becomes too toxic and begins to affect your mental health or professional development, it may be time to evaluate whether seeking a new job is the right choice for you.
Workplace conflict can be draining, but by taking proactive steps like documenting incidents, seeking support, and maintaining professionalism, you can navigate the situation effectively. Remember, you have rights as an employee, and protecting your well-being should always come first.
Remember, in all that you do we wish you the best, however, the information provided on this site is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. If you are facing serious workplace conflict, consider consulting with HR professionals or legal counsel to explore your specific situation. Learn more in our disclaimer policy.